How to recognize the wrong man on the first date (and not to be mistaken)
The first date can happen at any age, especially with current divorce statistics. But if with age and experience appears, then on the first date, even the most experienced sometimes begin to faint. Especially if before that you were married 10 years and the old rules are forgotten, but you don’t know the new ones. Especially for Passion.ru psychologist, coach Irina Iris explains how a man should not behave on a first date. And what should alert the woman in his actions.Pickup
For one date you will visit several places at once. For example, three or four cafes or a museum, a cinema and a cafe. Pikapery believe that a woman subconsciously perceives it as three or four dates, and immediately agrees to have sex. After all, it is “time” to get to know each other better.
Pikapery say a lot of compliments. Too many, too many all sorts of kind words. To a woman instantly melted and fell in love. Yes, everyone wants to hear that she is the most. But do not lose common sense and do not assume that this man is the same, your one and only, who will finally be appreciated by you and your rich inner world.
From the very first minutes of your date, he will talk about a bright future together. Pikaper knows that any woman always makes plans right away. Therefore, he will say what you want to hear: about traveling to Bali, a house on the beach, your children frolicking on the sand with your dog. However, this script, he easily remake in the course of the conversation. Suddenly you dream to see the fjords of Norway and move to live in Icelandic Akureyri, which is 40 kilometers from the Arctic Circle. He will support you in this and will solemnly assure that he is ready to be anywhere in the world, if only with you. If only forever.
Such conversations may suggest that this person is your second half. You are just made for each other. Throw away this judgment. A pikaper has one thing in mind: to fall in love with you as soon as possible, to drag you to bed, to put a tick in the list of your victories and to throw your victim with a broken heart.
What to do?
Do not rush into the pool with his head. Do not tell on the first date about the very personal and intimate. Do not give in to the sweet dope of his compliments. Watch your counterpart with a cool head. Cancel or postpone your second date – pick-upers don’t like it. After such a simple action on your part, he may simply disappear from your life.
Such a type on the first date will not show his true face. He will be polite and courteous to you. But carefully watch how he treats others. For example, with waiters in a cafe, a cashier at the cinema, people around you.
Singer Bobby Brown – the future husband of the famous singer Whitney Houston – charmed her on the first date. He was with her kind, sweet and gallant. This did not prevent him immediately fight with the waiter, and then with the valet. Whitney fell in love. Then it seemed to her that Bobby was strong, courageous and brutal. Their marriage was a torture for the singer, Brown was constantly beating her, and it was getting to the child. Pay attention to what the man says about other women. And generally about people. If they are disrespectful, do not expect that with you everything will be different.
What to do?
Watch. Just like a pick up artist. Masked sadist will not last long. Aggression requires an exit, he should or wants to impress you, so for now, he will cling to and be rude to outsiders. Here is the key word – bye. However, there are women victims who intentionally seek a relationship with the aggressor. Staying with such a person further or tearing relationships – you decide. If you choose the last option, do not pull. Leave after the first meeting.
His life situations and stories can not leave anyone indifferent. “I even thought about suicide, but I met you here.” “My wife / mother / aunt has an incurable disease, I cannot leave her, she will die / disappear without me.” “The gangsters hit me, they took away the whole business, now they are threatened with prison and death if I don’t give them the debt of 6,400,000 32 rubles and 15 kopecks. And the debt is growing every day, they put me on the counter. I don’t even know what to do. They will kill me. ”
He will tell stories that cause compassion and pity. To ask for a loan for the operation of your beloved aunt or to buy food for homeless animals, because he is the guardian of this shelter, lost his credit card, or forgot it at a gas station this morning.
What to do?
To give or not to give him money is your right. But if you decide to open a wallet, say goodbye to this money. He will not give them up. So be careful. And remember: you can never change a man. He will not stop asking for money, be a gigolo, lazy or a scoundrel.